Activities for People With Alzheimer’s Disease

It is universally recognized that elderly people with dementia lose their short term memory first and their long term memory last. For example, they often remember people and events from their earlier years, but have difficulty remembering what they ate for breakfast the day before. A short summary of some activities include the following:

1. Reminisce! Everything you do together lends itself to reminiscing. If the person can still speak fairly well, say, “Tell me about…” If his vocabulary is more limited, you may have to facilitate the story. “Do you remember when…” As you bake cookies together you can talk about residents’ favorite cookies, meals, etc.
2. Read aloud and use visual aids such as memory poems, family pictures, or stories about “the days gone by” stimulate reminiscences. Ideas include Chicken Soup for the Soul series and Yesterdays by NaDezan, and other short stories
3. Make music. Sing, hum, whistle, dance. Singing brings oxygen to the brain to help you think more clearly. Dancing exercises other parts of the body. Both increase your own sense of well-being as well as the well-being of the residents! Have music activities and entertainers visit. Choose the residents’ favorite cassettes.

4.  Sensory stimulation activities could include the following:

• Making lap quilts.
• Painting.
• Talking books.
• Scrap books.
• Walking!
• Flower arranging.
• Tutoring, or visiting with children.
• Baking.
• Happy hour with non-alcoholic drinks.
• Ice cream party.
• Brushing & fixing a resident’s hair.
• Manicures.
• Ladies luncheons.
• Building with wood (include sanding).

Although these activities are written for residents of a retirement community or a nursing home, they certainly could be utilized for private use as well. Keeping the mind and body active are important for everyone, but especially your loved one with dementia. Do something that is enjoyable for both of you, and it makes it that much easier. Raleigh Geriatric Care Management assists adult children of aging parents. caregiver.com

Is it time for Assisted Living?

by Paula Spencer Scott

The decision to help an aging adult move out of a current home is a complex one — both emotionally and practically. Above all, you want the person to be safe and well. How can you all feel more confident about whether circumstances suggest that your loved one should no longer be living alone?

1. Big-picture signs it might be time for assisted living

Keep the big red flags in mind. Certain situations make it more obvious that it’s wise to start thinking about alternate living arrangements.

Look for:

• Recent accidents or close calls. Did your loved one take a fall, have a medical scare, or get in a fender bender (or worse)? Who responded and how long did it take? Accidents do happen, but as people get older, the odds rise of them happening again.
• A slow recovery. How did the person you’re caring for weather the most recent illness (for example, a flu or bad cold)? Was he or she able and willing to seek medical care when needed, or did last winter’s cold develop into untreated bronchitis?
• A chronic health condition that’s worsening. Progressive problems such as COPD, dementia, and congestive heart failure can decline gradually or precipitously, but either way, their presence means your loved one will increasingly need help.
• Increasing difficulty managing the activities of daily living (ADLs) and instrumental activities of daily living (IADLs). ADLs and IADLs are the skills needed to live independently — dressing, shopping, cooking, doing laundry, managing medications, and so on. Doctors, social workers, and other geriatric experts evaluate them as part of a functional assessment, which is one way to get an expert’s view of the situation. Difficulties with ADLs and IADLs can sometimes be remedied by bringing in more in-home help.

2. Up-close signs it might be time for assisted living

Give your loved one a big hug. Clues aren’t always visible from a distance; especially when you don’t see the person every day, you might learn more through touch.

Look for:

• Noticeable weight loss. Does the person feel thinner? Are clothes loose, or has he added notches to his belt? Many conditions, from depression to cancer, can cause weight loss. A person who is having trouble getting out to shop or remembering how to cook (or to eat) can lose weight; check the fridge and watch meal-prep skills.
• Seeming more frail. Do you feel anything “different” about the person’s strength and stature when you hug? Can your loved one rise easily from a chair? Does she or he seem unsteady or unable to balance? Compare these observations to the last time you were together.
• Noticeable weight gain. Common causes include an injury slowing the person down,diabetes, and dementia (when someone doesn’t remember eating, he or she may indulge in meals and snacks all day long). Someone with money troubles may choose fewer fresh foods and more packaged goods or dried pasta and bread.
• Strange body odor. Unfortunately, a close hug can also reveal changes in personal hygiene habits. Causes range from memory trouble to depression to other physical ailments.
• Changes in appearance. Does the person’s hair and makeup look all right? Are clothes clean? Someone known for crisply ironed shirts who’s now in a stained sweatshirt may lack the dexterity for buttons or may have lost the strength for managing an ironing board and iron. A formerly clean-shaven man with an unkempt beard may be forgetting to shave (or forgetting how to shave).

3. Social signs it might be time for assisted living

Think realistically about the person’s social connections. Social circles tend to shrink with age, which can have health and safety implications.

Look for:

• Signs of active friendships. Does your loved one still get together for lunches or outings with friends or visits with neighbors, or participate in religious activities or other group events? Does he or she talk about others or keep a calendar of appointments? Lack of companionship is associated with depression and heart problems in older adults. If friends have died or moved away, moving to a place where other people are around could be lifesaving.
• Signs that your loved one has cut back on activities and interests. Is a hobby area abandoned? Has a club membership been given up? A library card gone unused? There are many reasons people cut back, but dropping out of everything and showing interest in almost nothing is a red flag for depression.
• Days spent without leaving the house. This sometimes happens because the person can no longer drive or is afraid to take public transportation alone and lacks a companion to come along. While many older adults fear being “locked away” in a retirement home, many such facilities offer regular outings that may keep them more mobile and active, not less.
• Someone who checks in on a regular basis. If not you or another family member, who does this? Is your loved one willing to consider a home-safety alarm system, a personal alarm system, or a daily calling service?
• A plan for a worst-case scenario. If there’s a fire, earthquake, flood, or other disaster, is someone on standby to assist? Does your loved one understand the plan?

4. Money signs it might be time for assisted living

Riffle through the mail. Your loved one’s mail can offer an often-overlooked clue to how he or she is managing money, a common early warning sign of cognitive trouble.

Look for:

• Snowdrifts of mail in various places. Finding lots of mail scattered around raises concern about how bills, insurance, and other matters are being managed. (Piles of mail are also a potential tripping hazard.)
• Unopened personal mail. Everybody skips junk mail, but few of us can ignore a good old-fashioned, hand-addressed letter.
• Unopened bills. This can indicate that your loved one is having difficulty managing finances — one of the most common first signs of dementia.
• Letters from banks, creditors, or insurers. Routine business letters aren’t worrisome. But it’s alarming if they’re referring to overdue payments, overdrawn balances, recent accidents, or other concerning events.
• Thank-you messages from charities. Older adults are often vulnerable to scammers. Even those who have always been fiscally prudent are vulnerable if they’re having trouble with thinking skills (a common sign of Alzheimer’s disease). Some charities hit up givers over and over, and your loved one may not remember having donating the first time.
• Lots of crisp, unread magazines. The person may unknowingly have repeat-renewal subscriptions he or she doesn’t need.

5. Driving signs it might be time for assisted living

Take a drive — with your loved one behind the wheel, if he or she is still driving. Living independently in our culture often depends on the ability to drive (or the arrangement of alternate transportation options).

Look for:

• Nicks or dents on the car. Notice the car body as you get in and out. Damage marks can be signs of careless driving.
• Whether the person promptly fastens his or her seatbelt. Even people with mild dementia usually follow the rote basics of driving. It’s worrisome if he or she is forgetting this step.
• • Tension, preoccupation, or being easily distracted. The person may turn off the radio, for example, or be unwilling to engage in conversation while driving. He or she may avoid certain routes, highway driving, or driving at night and in rain — a safe kind of self-policing but also signals of changing ability.
• Signs of dangerous driving. People whose driving ability is impaired are more likely to tailgate, drift from their lane, go below the speed limit, react slowly to lights or other cars, and mix up gas and brake pedals. See 8 ways to assess someone’s driving.
• Warning lights. Check out the dashboard as you ride along. Does the car have sufficient oil, gas, antifreeze, windshield-wiper fluid?

6. Kitchen signs it might be signs for assisted living

Go through the kitchen, from fridge to cupboards to oven. Because people spend so much time in this room, you can learn a lot.

Look for:

• Stale or expired foods. We all buy more than we need. Look for signs that food is not only old but that this is unnoticed — mold, sour milk that’s still used, or expiration dates well past due, for example.
• Multiples of the same item. Ten bottles of ketchup? More cereal than can be eaten in a year? Multiples often reveal that the shopper can’t remember from one store trip to the next what’s in stock at home.
• A freezer full of TV dinners. Your loved one may buy them for convenience sake, but frozen dinners tend not to make healthy diet. If there’s not much fresh food in the house (because it’s too hard to for the person to procure or cook), your loved one might be ready to have help with meal prep or delivery services.
• Broken appliances. Check them all: microwave, coffeemaker, toaster, washer, and dryer — any device you know your loved one uses (or used to use) routinely.
• Signs of fire. Are stove knobs charred? Pot bottoms singed badly (or thrown out)? Do any potholders have burned edges? Also look for a discharged fire extinguisher, smoke detectors that have been disassembled, or boxes of baking soda near the stove. Accidents happen; ask for the story behind what you see. Accidental fires are a common home danger for older adults.
• Increased use of takeout or simpler cooking. A change in physical or mental abilities might explain a downshift to simpler recipes or food choices.

7. Around-the-house signs it might be time for assisted living

Look around the living areas. Sometimes the most obvious sign is hard to see because we become so used to it.

Look for:

• Lots of clutter. An inability to throw anything away may be a sign of a neurological or physical issue. Obviously it’s more worrisome in a neatnik than in a chronic slob. Papers or pet toys all over the floor represent a tripping hazard.
• Signs of lax housekeeping. Spills that haven’t been cleaned up are a common sign of dementia — the person lacks the follow-through to tidy. Keep an eye out for cobwebs, bathroom mold, thick dust, or other signs of slackness. Physical limitations can mean your loved one needs housekeeping help or a living situation where this is taken care of for him or her.
• Bathroom grime and clutter. A common scenario: Your loved one makes an effort to tidy up living areas but overlooks the bathroom. Or the guest bath is clean, but not the one the person uses all the time (the one off a bedroom, for example). Here you may see a truer picture of how your loved one is keeping up.

8. Pet-care and plant-care signs it might be time for assisted living

Be sure to check out how the other living things are faring. An ability to take care of pets and plants goes along with self-care.

Look for:

• Plants that are dying, dead, or just gone. Most of us have seen plants go brown sometimes. Keep an eye out for chronic neglect, especially in a former plant-lover’s home.
• Animals that don’t seem well tended. Common problems: dogs with long nails, cat litter boxes that haven’t been changed lately, or dead fish in the fish tank. Poor grooming, overfeeding, and underfeeding are other red flags.

9. Home-maintenance signs it might be time for assisted living

Walk around the yard. Yard maintenance — or lack of it — can yield clues that your loved one isn’t faring as well at home alone anymore.

Look for:

• Signs of neglect. Look for discolored siding or ceilings that might indicate a leak, gutters choked with leaves, broken windows or fences, dirty windows.
• Newspapers in the bushes. Are papers being delivered but ignored? Sometimes people pick up those they can see on a driveway but not those that go off into the yard.
• Mail piled up in the mailbox. Go out and check — it’s an indication that your loved one doesn’t even retrieve it regularly.

10. Get help looking for signs it might be time for assisted living

Get the input of others who know your loved one in order to collect a fuller picture of reality. Gently probing about what others think isn’t nosy; you’re being loving, concerned, and proactive.

Look for:

• Input from those in your loved one’s circle. Talk to old friends and close relatives to get their sense of how the person is faring. Listen for stories that hint that the person doesn’t get out much (“She doesn’t come over anymore.” “She quit book club.”). Pay attention to comments that indicate ongoing concerns (“Has he had that heart test yet?” “We were worried the day the ambulance came.”).
• Medical insight. With appropriate permission, your loved one’s primary doctor may share your concerns about his or her patient’s safety at home — or may be able to alleviate those concerns or suggest where to get a home assessment.
• A second opinion. A social worker or professional geriatric care manager visits older adults’ homes and does informal evaluations. While your loved one may initially resist the notion of a “total stranger” checking on them, try pitching it as a professional (and neutral) second opinion, or ask the doctor to “prescribe” it. Some people wind up sharing doubts or vulnerabilities with a sympathetic, experienced stranger that they’re loathe to admit to their own children or family.

11. Caregivers’ signs it might be time for assisted living

Finally, realize that some of the information you collect is intangible — it has to do with feelings and emotions, and the stress levels of everyone involved.

Look for:

• How you’re doing. While this decision to remain in one’s home is not primarily about you — the son, daughter, grandchild, caregiver — your own exhaustion can be a good gauge of a decline in older adults’ ability to care for themselves. Keeping someone at home can require lots of hands-on support or care coordination, and this is time-consuming. If your loved one’s need for care is just plain wearing you out, or if a spouse or children are feeling the collective strain of your caregiving activities, these are major signs that it’s time to start looking at other options.
• Your loved one’s emotional state. Safety is crucial, of course, but so is emotional well-being. If someone living alone is riddled with anxieties or increasingly lonely, then that may tip the scales toward a move not solely based on health and safety reasons.

If your loved one has a full life, a close neighborhood and community connections, and seems to be thriving, it’s worth exploring as many in-home care options as possible before raising stress levels by pressing a move from a beloved home.

If, on the other hand, your loved one is showing signs that living alone is a strain, it may be time for a talk. Broach the subject of where to live in a neutral way and you may find that your loved one harbors the same fears for current and future safety and security that you do. Find out what your loved one fears most about moving and about staying before launching into your own worries and what you think ought to be done.

7 Communication Techniques for Talking to Elderly Parents

By Marlo Sollitto

Caregiving results in major changes in a family: physical, emotional, social and financial issues can arise. It changes the roles, responsibilities and feelings within the family, which can lead to tension and fighting.

Don’t Give Advice Unless It’s Asked For

Parents have advised their children their whole lives, so hearing advice from a child – albeit an adult child – might not go over so well. That parent-child role reversal is hard on the parent. Therefore, giving advice is best avoided unless you are sure it has been asked for. It is generally better to let an outside person be the advisor. You can encourage and provide support, without doling out advise.

Listen to What Your Elderly Parent is Saying

Really listen. Listen to what the person is saying. Don’t interrupt or try to fill in the silence. A period of silence could mean your family member is contemplating a response, thinking through the conversation and how to reply. Listening goes both ways, so try to determine that the person is hearing what you say.

Accept Differences of Opinions

No matter how close a family is, and despite the dynamics involved, everyone is not going to agree all of the time. There is sure to be differences of opinions. Respect the opinions of others; don’t disregard them. Listen to all sides, and make a decision together when possible.

Speak Distinctly

Some older adults do not like to admit that they cannot hear or understand the conversation around them.  The higher pitch of women’s voices may be a problem for older adults; consciously think to lower the voice pitch. Remain calm and talk in a gentle, matter-of-fact way, keep sentences short and simple, focusing on one idea at a time.

Don’t Condescend

Make sure your attempt to “turn up the volume” and slow down your speaking patterns doesn’t come across as condescending. Even if your parent suffers from dementia or extreme hearing loss, don’t speak to them as you speak to a child. Patronizing is a sure way to start an argument.

Choose the Right Environment

Avoid competing noise or activities such as TV or radio. Face the person as you talk to them. When talking in a group, make sure that the elder is not on the end of the row.  It is better to place the senior in the middle so that the conversation is around them. Or perhaps a quiet walk works best for your elderly parent.

Consider What It Is Like To Be Old

Most seniors experience a series of losses during their later years and are trying desperately to stay in control of themselves and their environment. Letting others help feels to them like giving away control of things.

Pick Your Battles

Most elderly face multiple challenges as a result of growing older. The most common include mobility limitations, decreased stamina, living alone and memory problems. You will need to prioritize the issues you want to address and hope for small victories.

Laugh When you Can

Laughter really is the best medicine. Even in a difficult and stressful caregiving situation, there are some humorous moments. A shared laugh can ease tension while building closeness. However, be sure to laugh with your family, not at their expense.

Raleigh Geriatric Care Management at www.rgcmgmt.com can assist adult children with their aging parents in North Carolina.  More information about caring and caregiving is available on the website.

The Art of Multitasking and Still Remaining Focused

by Maggie Almeida

Caregiving itself is an art. Many today are part of the Sandwich Generation who find themselves caring for both young children and teenagers as well as aging parents. Caregivers need to be professional multi-taskers to address everyone’s needs and not neglect their own. So what should a good caregiver focus on? As many know, it’s a balancing act, but there’s an order to follow starting with the caregiver himself.

Step number one is to look out for number one; me, myself, I, the big cheese, the head beagle (just ask Snoopy). This may sound selfish, but it’s really the most unselfish place to start. After all, if number one is not well, you cannot take care of your other charges. If you have a good attitude, you can even overcome your own health issues with greater ease. Those you care for also notice because they naturally behave as they see you behaving. This is called mirroring. One wise caregiver told me that her husband with Alzheimer’s was manageable because she knew that when her demeanor was calm, so was his. If she raised her voice, so did he. You can see where this leads. The caregiver had total control of her life as long as she managed her own emotions.

Step number two would be to give your attention to the next most vulnerable person you’re caring for. If it’s a child, have the older generation help since they may be acting childlike now. They may be able to play simple games with a child that you don’t have time for. Age and ability specific jigsaw puzzles, puppets, lying down with a child to get them to take a nap, or any other play related activity.

If your children are older, and you need to focus on Mom or Dad or Aunt Sally, have the older children help you in caring for your aged loved one. Keep it small and simple, but their involvement can mean the world to the older relative. It esteems them and they feel useful, as if the child needs their guidance. Some children feel esteemed when they’re asked to help and it also builds their character to practice acts of kindness toward the elderly. If they want an example of the positive impact of a grandmother on a pop star they all know, look at Will Smith. Even while accepting an American Music Award he gave the credit to his grandmother. She must have been inspirational, but he also allowed himself to be inspired by spending time with her. Parents can make this happen and enhance the whole family dynamic as well as build its heritage.

In conclusion, look at multi-tasking as building blocks. Today many families are fragmented because a caregiver in the sandwich generation gets burnt out on both ends. As they focus on caregiving, there are levels of trust and affection that we build. When the stress gets too much, sometimes the “tower of family solidarity” gets knocked down. Someone yells or cries. This doesn’t mean that the tower is erased from memory. Go back and do something nice for yourself because you are the cornerstone of your tower. The other blocks will be added again and again. Focus on the big picture because your part in caregiving is a temporary role in a continuum. As soon as your duties end, you may be the one needing care.

 

How to Handle An Aging Crisis

Unfortunately, life isn’t a smooth, straight road as you grow older.

Your husband could break a hip without a second’s warning or your Mom might simply forget to eat one week. Events that throw you into crisis mode happen more and more frequently as you age. But by taking the proper steps and leveraging the best resources, you can prepare yourself to deal with crisis when it strikes and get your loved one’s life back on track.

Below we have compiled some of the more common crisis situations you might encounter and given you the best game plan to resolve these issues:

1) A neighbor found your mother a mile away from her home. She didn’t know where she was, how she got there or how to find her way back.

Now’s the time to get Mom evaluated for dementia. She may need the security of a dementia unit at a skilled nursing facility or a retirement community.

2) When you visit your 90-year-old aunt, who lives alone, you noticed that she hasn’t bathed and her clothes are dirty. The food in her refrigerator is going bad. She may even be forgetting to take her medication.

Home care or an assisted living facility could help your aunt take care of the important activities of daily living that she’s having trouble with on her own. This interaction could also provide socialization she may be missing.

3) Your husband fell and shattered his pelvis. After he’s released from the hospital, he needs regular physical and occupational therapy, but driving him every day will be a hardship for you as well as cause him undue pain.

With a two or three-week stay in a short-term rehabilitation facility, your husband can receive the concentrated therapy and specialized care he needs and return to his regular activities more quickly. This also gives you the time to prepare your home for his return.

4) You live with your Dad, but worry about whether he’s eating right or mobile enough when you have to go to work during the day.

While you’re away, home care can fill your shoes, if your Dad prefers to remain at home, or if he needs the socialization, adult day care may be the right fit.

5) Your children want to take you on a cruise, but your wife, who suffered a stroke, needs your round-the-clock care.

You can feel confident that a respite care facility will take good care of your wife during the 10 days you are gone and you can enjoy a much-needed vacation!

—

There are a variety of crises that seniors can encounter that will require your immediate and informed response. By checking out the local resources available to you and your loved ones, including geriatric care management (in Raleigh, NC,  Raleigh Geriatric Care Management  home care, skilled nursing facilities, assisted living, hospice, adult day care and respite care, you’ll have solutions—rather than anxiety—should a crisis be around the corner. ~Senior’s Guide

Caregiver Anger and Guilt

~Paula Spencer Scott

No, it’s not all sweetness and light taking care of an aging loved one. They can make us mad. Very mad. Very, very, very mad.

Take, for example, some things I’ve heard caregivers say (or, uh, said myself. . . though I won’t say which ones!):

• “I try to do something nice for her and she ignores it, or complains!”
• “She makes me so mad because she doesn’t trust me!”
• “I could throttle him when he launches into that same story again. . . .”
• “How can I help but lose my temper with my mom when she ticks off the aides I’ve so carefully hired?”
• “Why why WHY does he keep doing that? He should know better!”
• Fill in your own blank!

What follows when our loved ones make us angry is often worse than pure anger: It’s anger mingled with guilt. We feel guilty because often the person can’t help being the way he or she is (dementia, depression, difficult illness). We feel guilty when we keep the upset feelings bottled up and simmering inside. We feel guilty when we snap and say something rude or sharp to the person. We can’t win.

So here’s one guilt-soothing thing to remember about caregiver anger: It reveals something very important about you.

No, not that you’re short-tempered or foul-natured. Not that you lack self control. Not that you’re uncaring or mean. Not that you’re even doing anything terribly wrong, really.

Getting mad at your loved one when you’re a caregiver reveals this about you: You’re human.

You’re only human.

So stop beating yourself up for what are, let’s face it, often perfectly natural responses to extreme stress. Do work on reducing the causes of that stress. But don’t add to your misery with a needless layer of guilt.

If you neverevereverever get mad, hats off; you’re human, too, though with a much longer fuse than the rest of us. But if you’re like the rest of us, you’ve gotten mad before, and you’ll be mad again.

And it’s okay. Because it’s normal.

What are the benefits of hiring a geriatric care manager?

• Help meet goals of older adult and all involved.
• A care manager’s knowledge, education, training, and experience can objectively help set realistic expectations while addressing obstacles that might be present.
• Often families are overwhelmed with the many options presented. A care manager can efficiently streamline decision making.
• As a neutral third party with knowledge of issues of older adults, a care manager can often help resolve conflicts that a more emotionally involved party can’t.
• A care manager can often be a cost-effective alternative to families doing it themselves. Knowledge of entitlement programs, the elimination of often hours of research, reduction of time off from work and crisis-based travel can prove to not only provide positive outcomes but save time and valuable financial resources.
• Avoid problems. The proactive nature of care management can help avoid many of the unfortunate problems that face older adults. Supervising caregivers, home safety precautions, and safe financial management can be vital parts of a care manager’s role.
• Avoid family conflicts. Having a facilitator to assist with difficult decisions can maintain family stability. Difficult decisions including end of life, driving, and relocation can be addressed in a positive manner.

~~excerpt from caring.com, Brad Prescott

In Raleigh, NC, Contact: Raleigh Geriatric Care Management, http://www.rgcmgmt.com, lwatral@rgcmgmt.com

7 Smart Tips for Communicating With Someone Who Has Low Hearing

Does your loved one seem to ignore what you say half the time? Maybe you’re not being heard. Fully one-third of adults over age 65 and about half of those over age 85 have significant hearing loss.

To improve your odds of getting your message across:

1. Realize that you don’t have to SHOUT! It’s kind of condescending, when you think about it, which starts communication off on the wrong note. Shouting also actually makes enunciation harder to understand.

2. Deliver your message face-to-face, rather than from across the room or from the next room. We all use lip-reading to some extent to help us hear.

3. Turn off the TV or radio to eliminate background noise. Even the low hum of the dishwasher or a leaf blower outside can muffle your words.

4. Don’t rely on hearing aids working perfectly. If you find that someone with a hearing aid is having trouble hearing well or isn’t using it, ask questions to find out why. Is it uncomfortable? Is ambient sound interfering?

5. Especially with someone who has dementia, avoid talking while coming up from behind him or her. You may not be heard until you’re right upon the person, causing your loved one to be startled and flustered — and not comprehend a word you’ve said.

6. If the person has vision problems, ask the eye doctor just what his or her range of vision is. For some people, there’s little peripheral vision (on the sides), so you must be positioned squarely in front to be seen and understood.

7. Speak slowly and clearly. You don’t have to dumb down your speech to robot tones, but try not to rush through your sentences, either. You’ll be more easily heard by any listener, of any age or health condition.

~Paula Spencer Scott

Holiday, Gifts and Stress

by Jude Roberts Even if you’re not a caregiver, the threat of the holidays being right around the corner strikes instant fear, terror and major stress into the hearts of almost everyone. However, there is hope for caregivers to enjoy the holiday season and still make it a special time for their loved one as well. The key is to pace yourself, as well as to help your loved one do the same, so that neither of you will feel completely drained, depressed or overwhelmed, especially during such a special time of year. Here are some suggestions that may help you both survive the holidays: Organize Your Time Try not to schedule too many social events, one right after another. It’s better to miss out on a few holiday events than to end up with yourself or a loved getting too exhausted, which could lead to health problems for both of you. Remember, when it comes to holiday events, it’s the quality, not the quantity, that counts. Make sure that your loved one gets a chance to have some quiet time away from all the noise, stress, and chaos that is a natural part of the holidays. It’s best to spend some quiet time together, so that you both get a chance to unwind from recent events. If you end up traveling away from home for the holidays, make sure to begin packing way in advance so that you’ll have everything needed for the person you’re caring for, as well as for yourself. Make lists and check them often prior to leaving home. Remember to have any refills on medications done early. If you’re traveling by car, remember to break up the car trip with a stopover at a park or at a favorite restaurant so that your loved one can get some fresh air and feel less confined. Watch out for holiday burnout in the person you’re caring for, by taking note of unusual irritability, tiredness, or even boisterousness, depending upon their condition. Also, be aware of possible holiday burnout in yourself. At the end of the holidays, you may notice some post-holiday blues creeping into the mood of your loved one. It’s best to try and get them back into their regular, daily routines as quickly as possible, but do it gradually so that it’s not too much of a shock. Patience is always required as a caregiver, but even more patience is required during the holidays, and in order to keep yourself from stressing out too much or becoming too exhausted, it’s important to try and keep your own, personal holiday schedule under control. This doesn’t mean to deprive yourself of social events that you’d like to attend for yourself, but know what your limits are, know that it’s okay to reduce your holiday commitments down to only a few, and don’t feel guilty about telling someone “no” when asked to participate in yet another holiday function. Shopping Alternatives Shop online whenever possible. A growing number of major retailers have cyberspace shops offering a variety of goods that can be purchased without ever leaving your home. Catalog shopping is another option if you don’t want to spend hours fighting the crowds at the mall. Buy the same gift for as many people as possible on your list. If you find a gift book that would be perfect for all of your favorite friends, pick up a half-dozen copies. You don’t always have to get everyone you know something different. Use your shopping time as efficiently as you can, by creating and carrying a  business-card sized list of gift ideas in your wallet, along with a list of gifts you’ve already gotten. These lists will help you from spending so much money, and will also help you not buy so many unnecessary gifts. Preparing Your Loved One Although it’s the holiday season, try to maintain the daily routine you and your loved one are used to doing. Even before an official gathering, continually speak about the people who will be coming to visit, or who you’ll be visiting, so that the person you’re caring for will  begin to start looking forward to some social time. Play seasonal music around the house, and serve their favorite, seasonal food. Let the person observe but don’t try to force them into any activity beyond their cognitive capacity. Have them do a repetitive task, such as folding napkins or cracking nuts, that will help keep them calm. If it’s possible, have them help bake cookies, or decorate the tree. If they don’t want to, let them stay as an observer. Prior to the onset of any behavioral problems during a holiday gathering, prepare distractions such as a family album to draw the person’s attention away from their problem. Managing Visitors It’s also a good idea to prepare your visitors for how your loved one may react during the gathering, and what to expect from their condition. This way, it won’t be shock if relatives and friends haven’t seen them for a while. Make sure to prepare friends and relatives regarding the condition of your loved one, especially if they haven’t seen them in quite a while. The behavior or condition of the person you’re caring for may come as quite a shock, so it’s best that everyone is informed ahead of time so that everyone is at ease and relaxed during a holiday visit. Don’t focus on how the holidays “used” to be, but focus instead on what a wonderful gift it is to have your loved one with you for yet another holiday season. The top-two priorities for you during this time of year is maintaining health and happiness, for the person you care for and for yourself as well. If you can, go ahead and by yourself a gift, something you’ve had your eye on for quite a while. Try to take time off from other obligations and responsibilities in order to re-energize during this season. Have smaller gatherings; this will help reduce the noise and stress level for you both. It’s okay to set limits, and make sure that everyone in the family, as well as friends, understand what you need as a caregiver during this time. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and to delegate holiday tasks among family and friends. Don’t spread yourself too thin by volunteering to help others. It’s okay to say no, and when you do, make it short and simple, and don’t apologize; it should be abundantly clear as to why you can’t do something, until you actually have extra time on your hands (and when is that reallygoing to happen?). Hopefully, family and friends will want to know what you want or need for the holidays for yourself. Definitely put respite at the top of your list as what you’d like to receive the most.

The New Female Problem

by Patricia Grace

In the halls of the nation’s businesses, the hushed whispers which were once reserved for gossip and Monday morning quarterbacking now echo the despair stressed out women are feeling in their role as caregivers. While men do represent a growing percentage of today’s caregivers, the role is still largely filled by women. In what could be considered the new “female problem” in the workplace, male management does not have the tools to adequately discuss and remedy this female ailment.

Caregiver Stress Defined

An individual’s face may not readily give away clues that they are suffering from caregiver stress, but a quick look at their employee attendance record will reveal absenteeism due to their work as a caregiver for an aging loved one. The fact that this individual has a higher utilization of the healthcare benefits and increased prescription plan participation for stress-related disorders may also warrant their classification as a caregiver.

Stressed out caregivers are susceptible to a whole host of problems as their immune system becomes compromised under the weight and associated guilt of caregiving. Migraine headaches and GI disorders are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the impact caregiver stress has on individuals. Caregivers overwhelmed by stress are also highly susceptible to depression. Individuals need to learn to recognize when their caregiving duties are getting the best of them.  Identifying community resources that offer services to caregivers and their loved ones can be just the prescription needed to bounce back.

Businesses and the overall economy are negatively impacted by caregivers who are emotionally drained by the burden of their role. The financial component of caregiver stress is far more reaching than that individual’s wallet. The trickle down effect of the disorder hurts all of our pockets as it robs employers of nearly $ 33.6 billion.

The Role of a Geriatric Care Manager

A GCM is a professional with expertise in geriatric or aging issues. They are a local resource with firsthand knowledge of the services available in your community.  Boomers living at a great distance who are concerned if their parent is safe in their own home can avail themselves of geriatric care management services for peace of mind with ease. Often the task of navigating the maze of senior housing and financial options associated with eldercare can put a strain on the parent-child relationship. A GCM can bridge the gap and facilitate discussion that leads to decision-making.

Geriatric care managers can assess, facilitate and
coordinate placement while providing family members the education they need to make informed decisions.  This education not only gives individuals a better understanding of the process, but it enables them to overcome the guilt and stress they may be carrying. Professional geriatric care managers consult with the family members and take into consideration their psycho-social and clinical needs, financial concerns and geographical desires.

Focus on Funding

Gaining an understanding of the finances associated with eldercare can cause a caregiver’s stress to reach an all- time high level.  Working with a geriatric care manager can put the funding solution you were looking for right at your fingertips. Aging specialists are experts on the VA Aid and Attendance bill as well as astute in Medicare and Medicaid issues.  Certified geriatric care managers can dispel any funding myth you may have heard and give you an indication of your eligibility for assistance.

 

In Raleigh , NC, Geriatric Care Management is provided by Raleigh Geriatric Care Management