Category Archives: family meetings

Geriatric Care Manager—>Aging Life Care Professional

WHAT IS AN AGING LIFE CARE PROFESSIONAL?

An Aging Life Care Professional, also known as a geriatric care manager, is a health and human services specialist who acts as a guide and advocate for families who are caring for older relatives or disabled adults. The Aging Life Care Professional is educated and experienced in any of several fields related to aging life care / care management, including, but not limited to nursing, gerontology, social work, or psychology, with a specialized focus on issues related to aging and elder care.

The Aging Life Care Professional assists clients in attaining their maximum functional potential. The individual’s independence is encouraged, while safety and security concerns are also addressed. Aging Life Care Professionals are able to address a broad range of issues related to the well-being of their client. They also have extensive knowledge about the costs, quality, and availability of resources in their communities.

Aging Life Care Professionals become the “coach” and families or clients the “team captain,” giving families the time to focus on relationships rather than the stress. In Raleigh, Durham, and surrounding area, contact Raleigh Geriatric Care Management, an Aging Life Care member.


Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under adult children of aging parents, Adult day care, aging drivers, Aging In Place, aging life care association, aging life care professional, alcohol and seniors, Alzheimer's Disease, anxiety and the elderly, assessments, bathing and seniors, care giving, care planning, caregiver burnout, caregiving, caregiving and the holidays, dementia, Depression and the elderly, driving retirement, elder care raleigh nc, elder nutrition, eldercare, employee stress, family meetings, Geriatric Care Management, Having a conversation, humor, laughter in caregiving, Long Term Care Insurancee, long term care planning, medication reminders, moving in with family, NC, Nursing Homes, nursing homes and assisted living, paying for home care, Power of Attorney, Raleigh, respite, Sandwich Generation, senior care, senior driving, Seniors and driving, sibling relationships, support groups, travel with seniors

The Sandwich Generation

By Kathleen Bogolea, MS

Since the adoption of the National Family Caregiver Support Program in late 2000, there have been numerous news articles and points of interests written about the family caregiver and their many different roles within the family and the community. Roughly, it is estimated that American families provide 80 to 90 percent of all in-home long term care services for their aging family members, disabled adult children and other loved ones.  These services may include assistance with activities of daily living (ADL’s), medical services coordination, medical supervision, administration of medications and assistance with financial, legal, spiritual and emotional concerns.  These services are priceless and the family caregivers that provide them often go unrecognized and over utilized which can lead to great stress for the family caregiver.  In contrast, if these same services were to be provided by our national health care system, it would be estimated at approximately 250 billion dollars per year.

Recently, and of particular interest, there is a new buzz around a subset of caregivers known as the  “Sandwich Generation”.  These are caregivers who find themselves squeezed in between caring for younger loved ones such as children, and their elder parents or other elder family members.  While the Sandwich Generation is not a new form of family caregiving, these caregivers are receiving a long overdue peaking of interest within American society.

Currently, the typical American Sandwich Generation Caregiver is in her mid-forties, married, employed and cares for her family and an elderly parent, usually her mother. With this said, it is important to note that there are more and more men that find themselves in a caregiving role and even squeezed in between the generations.  It is also important to note that there is an ever-growing segment of family and sandwich generation caregivers that live in rural communities. Unlike caregivers living in urban and industrial areas, rural caregivers may find themselves removed from readily available and professionally organized supportive services and care networks.  They may also find themselves not only carrying the normal burdens that are associated with providing care for a loved one, but also they may be faced with challenges such as geographic barriers to resources and isolation from other caregivers, family members or informal supports.  This lack of service availability, care networks, and isolation from other caregivers and family members can add to caregiver stress, burnout, and depression. 

The demanding role of being a caregiver spreads across all racial, gender, age and ethnic boundaries.  Some of the common stressors that affect both urban and rural sandwich generation caregivers are:

  • How do I split my time between my children/family and my elder loved one?

  • How much of my time is too much time in each caregiving role?

  • How do you find the time for my marriage?

  • How do you find the time for myself?

  • How do I keep the generational peace between my kids and my elder loved one?

  • How do I find the resources that I need for my self and my loved one?

  • How do I combat my feelings of isolation?

  • Guilt, Guilt and more Guilt for not having enough time to accomplish all that “should” be doing. 

To counter act some of these stressors, here are some caregiver tips that may help sandwich generation caregivers along the way:

Hold A Family Meeting
At this meeting, discuss the many different caregiving tasks that need to be accomplished each day or week.  Set a task list for family members to complete each day/week.  Set mutual expectations of how the many tasks of caregiving will be accomplished.  Caregiving is often a one-person show but it does not need to be if you have family support.  The family meeting also allows for family members to participate and share in the valuable gift of caregiving and this can be very rewarding.

Communication
Encourage children and elders to communicate with one another.  During the family meeting, make sure that all family members have a chance to talk about their thoughts and feelings.

Ask For Assistance
Make a point of picking up the telephone and spending time calling resources such as your local Area Agency on Aging, a hospital social worker, a physician or church. The Internet can also be a wonder resource finding tool.  Never be afraid to ask for assistance when you need to, you may be surprised at who has been waiting to help you.

Take Time To Care For Yourself
Too often I meet caregivers who are run down and even sick because they have not taken time to care for themselves.  Sure, no one can take care of your loved ones as well as you do but you must care for yourself if you want to continue to care for your loved one.  This is not an act of selfishness, it is actually an act of great giving.

Take time every day to “check-in” with yourself, even if it is only 10 minutes.  This should be your protected time.  Enjoy this time by reading, listening to music, exercising or whatever you like to do.

  • Remember to laugh at the funny things in life.

  • Take time to be “in” your marriage.

  • Listen to your body. If your body is telling you to slow down, or that something is not right, seek medical advice.  Too often we do not listen to our bodies no matter how loudly they may be talking to us.

Every caregiver and caregiving situation is unique but there are always common factors which bridge these situations and caregivers together.  It is easy to become lost in the caregiving that you are providing but remember that support can come from many different sources and in many different ways.  For those of you who are squeezed in the sandwich generation please know that you are not alone and that assistance is often only a telephone call or internet site away. 

Raleigh Geriatric Care Management, Aging Life Care Association Member. 

Leave a comment

Filed under adult children of aging parents, aging life care association, Alzheimer's Disease, elder care raleigh nc, eldercare, family meetings, Geriatric Care Management, Having a conversation, Sandwich Generation, senior care

Are You the Middle of a Triple Decker Sandwich?

Kathy Birkett, Senior Care Corner

Many baby boomers have grown to think of themselves as part of what has been termed the “sandwich generation”, caring for their aging parents or grandparents and their children at the same time. Calling that simply a sandwich overlooks a very important part of the equation, unfortunately the same part many boomers overlook — yourself.

Sharing information about the Triple Decker Sandwich Generation is an attempt to get boomer caregivers to realize the portion of the sandwich in the middle needs care as well. So often we find family caregivers putting their own needs on hold to address the sometime overwhelming needs of their children and senior loved ones.

No one in the multiple layers of the sandwich benefit when a caregiver ignores her or his own needs to focus totally on the needs of others. For some reason, though, we have been taught to feel like we’re being selfish when we think of ourselves. Just the opposite is true however.  When we take time to take care of ourselves, we put ourselves in a better position to give our best to others.

What happens when you shove your needs aside for too long? There are many reports of stress related disease and depression among boomer caregivers. Certainly being the middle “deck” of the sandwich can contribute to that. Focusing on the health care needs of others but ignoring your own can have serious consequences, especially for those entering a time in their lives where medical visits should be growing more – rather than less – frequent.

Being a Caregiver to Yourself

Taking care of that middle deck of the sandwich doesn’t mean simply looking after yourself, but those aspects of your life that are also necessary to your well being.

  • caring for a relationship with a spouse, partner or friends who help complete your life
  • putting appropriate focus on the job that provides the income needed to support the other aspects of your life (and hopefully some fulfillment)
  • hobbies, sports or other activities that let you get away from the rest of your life for a while
  • anything other aspect of your life that is important to you and allows you to decompress

The first step in caring for the middle deck of your family sandwich is to recognize that you and your needs are important and need to be met. Take some time for yourself and think about those needs putting plans in place to address them, just as you do to meet the needs of your children and senior loved ones for whom you care.

How do you care for yourself and your needs when it already feels like there are too few hours in each day? Can you substitute technology for some of the effort you put in already? There are a growing numbers of devices and programs that bright people have developed to meet the needs of people like you. There might just be an app for that!

In order to fully care for yourself to care for your family, you have to give yourself permission to put yourself in the sandwich instead of on the side of the plate. Some days will be harder than others to find time for your needs, but don’t give up. You will feel stronger when you have met your needs and be more able to be a loving and competent caregiver to the rest of the sandwich layers in your life.

Leave a comment

Filed under adult children of aging parents, Adult day care, aging drivers, Aging In Place, alcohol and seniors, Alzheimer's Disease, anxiety and the elderly, assessments, care giving, care planning, caregiver burnout, caregiving, dementia, Depression and the elderly, elder care raleigh nc, employee stress, family meetings, Geriatric Care Management, Having a conversation, long term care planning, moving in with family, NC, paying for home care, Raleigh, respite, Sandwich Generation, senior care, sibling relationships, support groups

Caregiver Burnout

By Dr. M. Ross Seligson

Being able to cope with the strains and stresses of being a Caregiver is part of the art of Caregiving In order to remain healthy so that we can continue to be Caregivers, we must be able to see our own limitations and learn to care for ourselves as well as others.

It is important for all of us to make the effort to recognize the signs of burnout, In order to do this we must be honest and willing to hear feedback from those around us. This is especially important for those caring for family or friends. Too often Caregivers who are not closely associated with the healthcare profession get overlooked and lost in the commotion of medical emergencies and procedures. Otherwise close friends begin to grow distant, and eventually the Caregiver is alone without a support structure. We must allow those who do care for us, who are interested enough to say something, to tell us about our behavior, a noticed decrease in energy or mood changes.

Burnout isn’t like a cold. You don’t always notice it when you are in its clutches. Very much like Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, the symptoms of burnout can begin surfacing months after a traumatic episode. The following are symptoms we might notice in ourselves, or others might say they see in us. Think about what is being said, and consider the possibility of burnout.

  • Feelings of depression.
  • A sense of ongoing and constant fatigue.
  • Decreasing interest in work.
  • Decrease in work production.
  • Withdrawal from social contacts.
  • Increase in use of stimulants and alcohol.
  • Increasing fear of death.
  • Change in eating patterns.
  • Feelings of helplessness.

Strategies to ward off or cope with burnout are important. To counteract burnout, the following specific strategies are recommended

  • Participate in a support network.
  • Consult with professionals to explore burnout issues.
  • Attend a support group to receive feedback and coping strategies.
  • Vary the focus of caregiving responsibilities if possible (rotate responsibilities with family members).
  • Exercise daily and maintain a healthy diet.
  • Establish “quiet time” for meditation.
  • Get a weekly massage
  • Stay involved in hobbies.

By acknowledging the reality that being a Caregiver is filled with stress and anxiety, and understanding the potential for burnout, Caregivers can be forewarned and guard against this debilitating condition. As much as it is said, it can still not be said too often, the best way to be an effective Caregiver is to take care of yourself.

Leave a comment

Filed under adult children of aging parents, Adult day care, aging drivers, Aging In Place, alcohol and seniors, Alzheimer's Disease, anxiety and the elderly, assessments, bathing and seniors, care giving, care planning, caregiver burnout, caregiving, caregiving and the holidays, dementia, Depression and the elderly, elder care raleigh nc, employee stress, family meetings, Geriatric Care Management, Having a conversation, laughter in caregiving, long term care planning, moving in with family, NC, Raleigh, respite, Sandwich Generation, senior care, sibling relationships, support groups

Older Adults and Alcohol

A national 2008 survey found that about 40 percent of adults ages 65 and older drink alcohol. Older adults can experience a variety of problems from drinking alcohol, especially those who:

• Take certain medications
• Have health problems
• Drink heavily

There are special considerations facing older adults who drink, including:

Increased Sensitivity to Alcohol
Aging can lower the body’s tolerance for alcohol. Older adults generally experience the effects of alcohol more quickly than when they were younger. This puts older adults at higher risks for falls, car crashes, and other unintentional injuries that may result from drinking.

Increased Health Problems
Certain health problems are common in older adults. Heavy drinking can make these problems worse, including:

• Diabetes
• High blood pressure
• Congestive heart failure
• Liver problems
• Osteoporosis
• Memory problems
• Mood disorders

Bad Interactions with Medications
Many prescription and over-the-counter medications, as well as herbal remedies can be dangerous or even deadly when mixed with alcohol. Medications that can interact badly with alcohol include:

• Aspirin
• Acetaminophen
• Cold and allergy medicine
• Cough syrup
• Sleeping pills
• Pain medication
• Anxiety or depression medicine

Drinking Guidelines for Older Adults
Adults over age 65 who are healthy and do not take medications should not have more than:

• 3 drinks on a given day
• 7 drinks in a week

Drinking more than these amounts puts people at risk of serious alcohol problems.

If you have a health problem or take certain medications, you may need to drink less or not at all.

Source: NIH National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism

Leave a comment

Filed under adult children of aging parents, alcohol and seniors, Alzheimer's Disease, anxiety and the elderly, care giving, care planning, caregiver burnout, caregiving, dementia, Depression and the elderly, driving retirement, elder care raleigh nc, elder nutrition, family meetings, Geriatric Care Management, Having a conversation, long term care planning, medication reminders, moving in with family, NC, Raleigh, Sandwich Generation, senior care, senior driving, Seniors and driving, sibling relationships, support groups

What to Do When Parents Must Live Separately: 6 Tips to Help Them Cope

By Dave Singleton, Caring.com author

After decades of living together, one parent needs more care than the other can provide. It’s not only hard on the parents; it’s a devastating situation for children and loved ones, too. You want to help, but you feel helpless in the face of what amounts to a forced separation.

What can you do to ease the trauma and provide support for parents facing this circumstance? Recently, I spoke with two eldercare experts who’ve counseled dozens of families and offer these six practical tips:

  1. Determine in advance how the relationship will continue.

    “Before anyone makes a move, encourage your parents to map out how the marital bond will carry on,” says Mary Koffend, president of Accountable Aging Care Management. Of course, if a parent has dementia or Alzheimer’s, it could be impossible for them to make such a plan. But assuming they can, “if Dad now lives in assisted living, then maybe Mom comes over every day for dinner.” Or perhaps she joins in on a regular activity that they can both enjoy on-site, such as discussions, book clubs, craft sessions, games, gardening, playing cards, or watching television.

  2. Ensure that the facility supports the couple.

    “The key is to promote the couple’s identity as a couple as much as possible, or desirable, for both partners,” says Cheryl Woodson, author of To Survive Caregiving: A Daughter’s Experience, A Doctor’s Advice. “Make sure the facility is convenient for the healthy partner in terms of transportation, access, and schedule.” If transportation to and from the new living facility is an issue, arrange in advance for a loved one or paid caregiver to drive, so that your parents get time together. “Even if it’s brief, at least they talk a bit, kiss good-bye, and off one of them goes,” says Koffend.

  3. Help your parent with feelings of guilt and inadequacy.

    Chances are the parent remaining at home feels tremendous guilt as well as sadness over the separation. “A parent might feel like he’s no longer honoring his wedding vows, or that he isn’t doing enough,” says Koffend. You can be supportive by being the voice that reminds Dad that he’s doing all he can. Give him a dose of what Koffend calls “reality therapy” — in other words, talk him out of wishing for what can no longer be. “Help parents understand the choices they are faced with, and reaffirm that they made the right choices, emotionally and logically,” says Koffend.

  4. Get your parents outside help if needed.

    Sometimes your best efforts might not be enough, and you need to engage outside support. “No matter how cooperative the facility is, no one can understand how bereft these couples may feel,” says Woodson. “Families should encourage the healthy partner to talk to clergy, behavioral health professionals, and/or to participate in support groups with other spouses in similar circumstances.”

  5. Help foster private time, if desired.

    Contrary to popular opinion, the need for intimacy doesn’t end when a separation like this occurs. It might be a little awkward for family members to address (understatement!), but help the couple work through whatever issues might be present in order to get deserved privacy. “For example, if a spouse can’t leave the facility for whatever reason, kids can step in and have a very straightforward conversation with the facility’s administrators about arranging alone-time for the couple,” says Koffend. It’s important to understand the concerns of the facility, which might be liable for falls or health issues that occur under their watch. Koffend cites one example of a wife who brought Viagra to her husband in an assisted living facility, which resulted in him having a strong adverse medical reaction. Address concerns and see if you can set fair boundaries.

  6. Expect the unexpected.

    Finally, “Don’t assume that this transition ends once the initial decision and move are over,” says Koffend. “Be prepared for whatever your parents’ needs are afterward, when there’s sadness or frustration on either side.” For some who’ve spent years caring for a spouse, the transition to living alone can be jarring and rudderless. When primary caretaking is replaced by a facility, you might need to help the parent remaining at home to feel needed and purposeful, whether by encouraging her to see friends or volunteer or simply by facilitating more involvement with her spouse’s new life at the facility. “Help your parent realize they have a practical role in the care and upkeep of their spouse who’s now living in a new place,” says Koffend. “It gives purpose to the visits, even if it’s as simple as bringing a few products and a hairbrush to help maintain physical appearance.”

Leave a comment

Filed under adult children of aging parents, Adult day care, Aging In Place, Alzheimer's Disease, anxiety and the elderly, assessments, care giving, care planning, caregiver burnout, caregiving, dementia, Depression and the elderly, elder care raleigh nc, family meetings, Geriatric Care Management, Having a conversation, long term care planning, moving in with family, NC, Nursing Homes, nursing homes and assisted living, paying for home care, Power of Attorney, Raleigh, Sandwich Generation, senior care, sibling relationships, support groups

Laughter is the Best Medicine

By  Helen Hunter, ACSW, LSW

When was the last time you had a really good laugh?

The scientific definition of laughing is a “successive, rhythmic, spasmodic expiration with open glottis and vibration of the vocal cords, often accompanied by baring of the teeth and facial expression”. That doesn’t begin to tell the story of what laughing does for us, however. The bottom line is that laughing is medically beneficial.

Laughter establishes or restores a positive emotional climate and a sense of connection between two people. In fact, some researchers believe that the major function of laughter is to bring people together – the more social a person is and the more social support a person receives, the more likely that laughter will result from that social connection. Mutual laughter and play are an essential component of strong, healthy relationships. By making a conscious effort to incorporate more humor and play into your daily interactions, you can improve the quality of your relationships.

What are the Physical Effects of Laughing?

Laughing makes people feel good for a reason. Studies have shown that laughter boosts the immune system and triggers the release of pleasure-inducing neurochemicals in the brain. The immune system, which contains special cells that are responsible for defending the body against infection, have been shown to increase during the act of laughing. In the central nervous system, the brain releases powerful endorphins as a result of laughing. Endorphins are natural, morphine-like compounds that raise the pain threshold, produce sedation and induce euphoria (commonly called a “natural high”). In other words, we feel better when we laugh because endorphins reduce physical and mental pain. While this may be a wonderful feeling, laughing has other benefits as well:

During a laugh, respiration, heart rate and blood pressure temporarily rise. This causes oxygen to surge through the bloodstream that then results in lower blood pressure.

Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems.

Laughter reduces pain and allows toleration of discomfort.

Laughter reduces blood sugar levels, increasing glucose tolerance in diabetics and non-diabetics alike.

Laughter relaxes the whole body, relieving tension and stress. It has been shown that following a good, hearty laugh, muscles in the body are relaxed for up to 45 minutes afterward.

Laughing burns calories – laughter is sometimes referred to as “inner jogging”. A hearty laugh gives the muscles of the face, chest, shoulders, stomach and diaphragm a good workout.

Laughter also helps to create a positive mood. It allows the expression of happiness and the release of anxiety. Humor eases tension and is a great antidote to a stressful situation. Laughter is often seen as a temporary vacation from everyday problems, bringing us to a paradise in which worries do not exist. Humor and laughter are natural safety valves that shut off certain hormones that are released during stressful situations. In fact, your sense of humor is one of the most powerful tools you have to make certain that your daily mood and emotional state support good health.

Here are some ways to bring more humor and laughter into your life:

Smile: Smiling is the beginning of laughter. Like laughter, it’s contagious. When you look at someone or see something even mildly pleasing, practice smiling!

Count your blessings: Literally make a list. The simple act of considering the good things in your life will distance you from negative thoughts that are a barrier to humor and laughter!

When you hear laughter, move toward it: People are very happy to share something funny because it gives them an opportunity to laugh again and feel the humor in it. When individuals hear laughter, they seek it out and ask “What’s funny?”

Spend time with fun, playful people: These are people who laugh easily, both at themselves and at life’s absurdities and who routinely find humor in everyday events. Their playful point of view and laughter are contagious!!

Bring humor into conversations: Ask people: What’s the funniest thing that happened to you today? This week? In your life?

Laugh at yourself: Share your embarrassing moments.

Attempt to laugh at situations rather than bemoan them: Look for the humor in a bad situation, the irony and absurdity of life. This will help improve your mood and the mood of those around you.

Surround yourself with reminders to lighten up: Keep a toy on your desk or in your car. Put up a funny poster in your office. Choose a computer screensaver that makes you laugh. Frame photos of you and your family having fun.

Keep things in perspective: Many things are beyond our control, so make the best of a situation and find the positive in the situation.

Deal with stress: Stress is major impediment to humor and laughter.

Pay attention to children and emulate them: They are the experts on playing, taking life lightly and laughing!!

Here is a simple prescription for a healthy life:

Thirty minutes of exercise at least 3 times a week, and 15 minutes of laughter on a daily basis!!

The bottom line – laughter may just be the best medicine on the market today!

Leave a comment

Filed under adult children of aging parents, Alzheimer's Disease, anxiety and the elderly, assessments, care giving, care planning, caregiver burnout, caregiving, caregiving and the holidays, dementia, Depression and the elderly, elder care raleigh nc, employee stress, family meetings, Geriatric Care Management, Having a conversation, humor, laughter in caregiving, long term care planning, moving in with family, NC, Raleigh, respite, Sandwich Generation, senior care, sibling relationships, support groups